When “Normal” Doesn’t Mean Optimal

What if we asked better questions about our health?

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By Nad's Founder of Vitality4Life with Nad's Transformational Wellness Coach Move. Nourish. Breathe. Align. Helping people rediscover their vitality and come home to themselves through movement, massage, breath and holistic coaching.

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There comes a point when you stop asking yourself, “Why am I feeling this way?” and start asking, “What if there’s more to this story than I’ve been seeing?”

For me, that question has been a long time coming.

Over the past four years, I’ve experienced several significant life changes, each bringing its own challenges. I’ve navigated grief, moved through perimenopause into postmenopause, and experienced considerable changes in my weight, lifestyle and relationship with my body.

These things didn’t all happen at once. They unfolded over time, and each season affected me in different ways.

When I spent time with my dad around eight months before he passed away, I was going through one of the hardest experiences of my life. A year and a half later, I found myself living and working in an environment that was physically, emotionally and mentally draining, with very little work-life balance. That period continued for around two and a half years.

Looking back, I can see how much I had been carrying, and how easily looking after myself slipped down the priority list.

I wasn’t consistently supporting my body with the things I know make a difference to my wellbeing: nourishing food, restorative sleep, movement, meditation, breathwork and time to recover.

And somewhere along the way, I lost a little of myself.

I’ve gained a significant amount of weight, struggled with persistent sugar cravings and found myself feeling like a stranger in my own body.

As a wellness practitioner, I know that looking after ourselves involves more than one thing. But knowing something and putting it into practice when life gets difficult are two very different things.

I’ve spent a long time wondering why I couldn’t seem to get back to the person I used to be.

Now, I’m beginning to ask different questions.

Not because I have all the answers, but because I’m learning that understanding our health sometimes starts with being willing to look a little deeper.

The body I no longer recognise

I’ve always had a relationship with movement. As a yoga teacher and personal trainer, movement has been part of my life and my work for many years.

I know what it feels like to enjoy being active, to feel strong in my body and to move in ways that support both my physical and mental wellbeing.

But over time, that relationship changed.

Grief took its toll. Perimenopause brought changes of its own. Later, the stress of my living and working environment affected my routines, my energy and the time I had available to care for myself. The balance I needed wasn’t there, and the habits that once supported me gradually became harder to maintain.

My weight changed considerably, and it sometimes felt as though it had happened overnight.

Clothes that once made me feel comfortable and confident no longer felt the same. Even putting on a swimsuit, something I had previously felt good about, became a reminder of how unfamiliar my body had started to feel.

And if I’m honest, I haven’t always been kind to myself through this.

I’ve been my own harshest critic, speaking to myself in ways I would never speak to someone I love. I’ve questioned myself, become frustrated with my body and wondered why I couldn’t simply get back on track.

But I’m learning that constantly criticising myself doesn’t help me understand what is happening. It only makes the journey harder.

I can acknowledge that I haven’t always given my health the attention it needed without judging myself for everything that has happened.

I can recognise the impact of grief, stress, hormonal changes and my environment while also acknowledging that there are things I want to do differently now.

For me, this isn’t about finding someone or something to blame. It’s about understanding the bigger picture and deciding how I want to move forward.

When I started asking more questions

Alongside the changes in my body, I began noticing persistent sugar cravings. I wanted to understand why I was experiencing them and whether there was more to explore than simply needing to eat better or exercise more.

I also started looking more closely at my blood results.

Through conversations with my naturopath, I became more aware of the significance of looking at my results alongside my wider health history. My insulin and fasting glucose readings were above the upper limits indicated by the markers I was reviewing.

That got my attention.

I have kidney disease, so understanding my health and making informed decisions about what I do next is particularly important to me. I don’t want to ignore something worth exploring, but I also don’t want to jump to conclusions about what it means.

I want to understand what the results may be telling me, what else needs to be considered and what appropriate steps I can take to support my health.

As part of my own learning, I’ve also been reading Women’s Wellness Wisdom by Dr Libby. The information I’ve been exploring about insulin, glucose and patterns of weight distribution prompted me to look more closely at my own experience and ask further questions.

I’ve noticed that my weight gain hasn’t been confined to one area of my body. Alongside what I’ve been reading, that has made me curious about whether metabolic factors could be contributing to the changes I’ve experienced.

But I also recognise that body shape and fat distribution alone cannot tell me whether I have insulin resistance, and I don’t want to make assumptions about what’s happening inside my body based on appearance alone.

My blood results, my health history and the changes I’ve noticed are all reasons for me to keep asking questions and seek appropriate professional guidance.

I’m also reflecting on the effects that prolonged stress, sleep and recovery may have on my overall wellbeing. I want to understand how these factors fit into my health picture rather than assume that one single issue explains everything.

This is where the title of this article comes in.

When “normal” doesn’t mean optimal, it doesn’t necessarily mean something has been missed or that a particular practitioner is wrong. It means there may be more questions worth asking.

A laboratory reference range is useful, but interpreting results can involve looking at the wider clinical picture, including a person’s medical history, symptoms and other findings.

Equally, a result outside a reference range doesn’t automatically confirm a particular condition. It needs to be interpreted appropriately by a qualified healthcare professional.

What I want is a fuller understanding of my own health. I want to know what my results mean, what they don’t tell me and whether further assessment or support is appropriate.

I don’t want to simply look at a number and either worry about it unnecessarily or dismiss it without understanding it.

I want to be informed, involved and proactive.

Taking steps to support my body

Since beginning to explore these questions, I’ve realised that I don’t need to wait until I have every answer before I start building better habits.

There are practical things I can work on while continuing to understand my health.

At the moment, I’m approaching this from several different angles.

I’m looking at my food and eating habits. I’m paying more attention to what I eat, when I eat and how I approach my meals. I’m learning more about glucose and insulin through books, including the work of Glucose Goddess, because I want to understand the science and the reasoning behind the strategies I’m exploring.

I’m looking at the support my body may need. I’m discussing supplementation and other appropriate ways to support my health. Because I have kidney disease, it’s especially important that any supplements and dietary changes are considered carefully with the relevant qualified healthcare professionals.

I’m making sleep and recovery a priority again. I know that looking after myself isn’t just about what I do during the day. Rest, recovery and creating a healthier balance in my life matter, too.

I’m bringing movement back into my routine. I want to reconnect with movement in a way that supports my body rather than becoming another thing I use to punish myself or chase a particular appearance.

I’m making space for meditation and breathwork. These are practices I already know and value, and I want to bring them back into my life more consistently as part of how I care for myself.

None of these things is an overnight fix. And I’m not suggesting that any single habit will resolve every health concern.

I’m learning, exploring and making changes while continuing to seek a better understanding of what’s happening in my body.

For me, the important thing is that I’m no longer looking at my health through just one lens.

I’m beginning to understand that supporting our wellbeing can involve several layers, and those layers may look different for each of us.

It’s not about doing everything perfectly. It’s about taking considered steps, learning what works for our individual circumstances and being willing to adjust as we learn more.

Learning to become my own advocate

One of the biggest lessons in this process has been recognising the importance of advocating for myself.

I’ve had conversations with healthcare professionals where I’ve left feeling that my concerns haven’t been fully explored. I’ve also experienced the value of speaking with someone who takes the time to consider the wider picture and discuss realistic options with me.

I know that different practitioners have different roles, training and approaches. I don’t believe that one type of practitioner has all the answers, and I don’t believe that questioning something means we need to dismiss conventional medicine.

What I do believe is that we should feel able to ask questions about our health and understand the information we’re being given.

Becoming your own advocate means being willing to say:

“I’m still concerned about this. Can we explore it further?”

It means asking for an explanation when something doesn’t make sense. It means understanding why a particular recommendation has been made and what the next steps might be.

And sometimes, it means recognising that if you haven’t found the answers you need in one conversation, you may need to seek another opinion or ask someone else who is appropriately qualified to help.

That doesn’t mean assuming the first person was wrong. It means recognising that we may need a different perspective, additional expertise or more information.

It also means being prepared to take action ourselves.

For me, this has involved looking at my habits, doing my own learning, asking questions and being honest about the areas of my life that need attention.

I can’t expect someone else to make every decision for me or to know exactly what I’m experiencing if I don’t communicate it. But I can expect to be listened to, to have my concerns taken seriously and to receive clear explanations about the options available to me.

There is a balance between taking responsibility for our health and recognising that we don’t have to figure everything out alone.

Self-advocacy isn’t about becoming your own doctor. It’s about becoming an active participant in your healthcare.

It’s also about approaching yourself with compassion.

I spent a long time being frustrated with myself for the changes in my body. I’m now trying to direct that energy towards understanding what I need and taking steps to support myself.

I can want better health without bullying myself into it.

I can acknowledge that some of my habits need attention without ignoring the grief, stress and changes I’ve experienced.

And I can take ownership of the things within my control without pretending I can control everything.

We don’t have to do it all alone

My work as a transformational wellness coach, yoga teacher, personal trainer and massage therapist has shaped the way I think about the body and wellbeing.

Working across these different modalities has helped me appreciate the connections between movement, physical function, stress, recovery, breathing and the way we care for ourselves.

I find that this broader perspective also influences how I approach my massage work. Rather than seeing the body as a collection of completely separate parts, I’m more aware of how different areas and systems can relate to one another, while still recognising the limits of my own scope of practice.

For example, if someone comes to me with discomfort around their knee, I don’t automatically assume the knee is the only thing worth considering. Depending on the person and what I observe within my scope of practice, I may also consider factors such as movement around the ankle or how the hips and glutes are functioning.

Sometimes, the most appropriate next step is recognising that another practitioner may be better placed to assess something further.

I have a chiropractor I value referring people to because I appreciate their particular approach. That doesn’t mean I believe one practitioner or modality is right for everyone. It means I recognise that different professionals can offer different perspectives and areas of expertise.

I believe the same principle applies to our own health.

Our GPs, specialists, allied health professionals and other appropriately qualified practitioners can each have different roles. What matters is that the care we receive is safe, appropriate to our individual circumstances and guided by sound assessment and evidence.

I’ve also appreciated working with a naturopath who considers my wider circumstances and is mindful of my budget. I value being able to discuss realistic steps that I can work towards without feeling that I must purchase every supplement or follow an approach that isn’t financially sustainable for me.

I think this is an important consideration for all of us.

Supporting our health needs to be realistic enough to fit into our lives. That doesn’t mean compromising on safety or choosing something simply because it’s cheaper. It means having honest conversations about what is appropriate, what is affordable and what we can realistically maintain.

It’s also important to remember that natural doesn’t automatically mean safe, particularly when someone has an existing medical condition or takes medication. Supplements, herbs and dietary changes can have risks and interactions, so they need to be considered carefully.

Ultimately, I don’t think we need to choose sides or believe that one practitioner has every answer.

Sometimes we need a GP to investigate a concern. Sometimes we need a specialist. Sometimes we benefit from support with movement, nutrition, stress or recovery. And sometimes we need to ask another qualified professional for a different perspective.

There is room for collaboration.

There is room for questions.

And there is room to recognise that looking after our health is often a process of understanding the different pieces and working out how they fit together.

Five questions to help you dig a little deeper

If something about your health has been worrying you, or you feel that you haven’t found the answers you’re looking for, these are five questions you can take into a health conversation.

I’ve included follow-up questions, too, because sometimes the first answer doesn’t fully address what you’re asking. You don’t need to use every question at once. Start with what matters most to you.

1. Can you help me understand what these results mean in the context of my health history and the changes I’ve been experiencing?

Rather than looking at a result in isolation, explain what you’ve noticed, how long it’s been happening and anything relevant in your medical history.

If the answer doesn’t give you clarity, you could ask:

·       What does this result tell us, and what can’t it tell us on its own?

·       Could any of my symptoms, existing conditions or medications be relevant to how we interpret it?

·       Can you explain why you’re reassured by this result, or why you think it needs further attention?

You don’t need to interpret the result yourself. You’re asking for help understanding it.

2. If my concerns haven’t been fully answered, what are my next steps, and who else could help me explore them?

Sometimes a conversation reaches a point where you’re told that nothing further is needed, but you still don’t understand why you’re experiencing certain changes.

You can respectfully ask for clarification.

If you still feel uncertain, consider asking:

·       What would need to change for us to investigate this further?

·       Is there a reason you don’t think further assessment is appropriate at this stage?

·       If this falls outside your area of expertise, which practitioner or specialist would be best placed to help?

·       If I continue to feel concerned, would another opinion be reasonable?

You can also ask for a copy of your results and seek a second opinion from another GP or an appropriately qualified practitioner. Depending on your concern, a specialist or registered dietitian may be relevant.

The important thing is to seek qualified guidance rather than trying to diagnose yourself from online information.

3. What else could be contributing to the symptoms or changes I’m experiencing?

It’s natural to want a clear explanation, particularly when several things have changed at once. But sometimes there may be more than one contributing factor.

You could follow up with:

·       Are there other possible explanations we should consider?

·       How can we distinguish between those possibilities?

·       Is there anything in my history that makes one explanation more or less likely?

·       What information would help us understand this more clearly?

The aim isn’t to find a single answer at any cost. It’s to understand what is known, what remains uncertain and how those uncertainties can be explored appropriately.

4. What is a realistic next step for me, given my individual circumstances?

This question may sound simple, but it’s one we can forget to ask.

Health advice can feel overwhelming when you’re given a long list of things to change, especially when you have financial constraints, an existing health condition or a busy life.

You could ask:

·       If we focus on one or two things first, what would be most appropriate for me?

·       How does this recommendation fit with my existing health conditions and any medication or supplements I take?

·       What are the benefits, risks and limitations of this approach?

·       How will we know whether it’s helping, and when should we review it?

You don’t need to do everything at once. The aim is to make informed decisions about steps that are safe, realistic and appropriate for you.

5. If we don’t have a clear answer yet, how will we keep investigating or reviewing this?

Not every concern can be resolved in one appointment. Sometimes more information is needed, or it takes time to understand what is happening.

But uncertainty doesn’t have to mean reaching a dead end.

You could follow up by asking:

·       What should we monitor, and when should we review it?

·       What changes or symptoms should prompt me to seek further advice?

·       If things don’t improve, what would our next step be?

·       When should I come back, and who should I contact if I have further concerns before then?

Before you leave an appointment, it can help to understand what has been decided, what remains uncertain and what happens next.

And if you still don’t feel that your concerns have been addressed, you are allowed to seek further guidance.

You don’t have to be confrontational. You can be respectful of a professional’s expertise while still asking for the clarity you need.

Being your own advocate doesn’t mean having all the answers. It means being willing to keep asking thoughtful questions until you have a clearer understanding of your options.

A small practice for this month

Before your next health appointment, take five minutes to pause and write down:

·       What you have noticed, including when it began and how it has changed.

·       Any relevant health history, medications or supplements you want to make sure are discussed.

·       The questions you most want answered.

·       What you would like to understand before you leave, including any agreed follow-up or next steps.

You don’t need to solve everything in one appointment. Start with the question that matters most to you. The aim is to leave with a clearer understanding of what is known, what remains uncertain and what the next step will be.

This is a journey, not an overnight fix

I’m still on my own journey with all of this.

I don’t have a neat ending where every blood result is explained, every habit has changed and I suddenly feel completely comfortable in my body again.

I’m learning how to reconnect with my body and care for it in a different way. I want to understand what is happening, make informed choices and work towards better health, strength and wellbeing.

I want to feel at home in my body again, but I also want to look beyond how my body looks and consider how I feel, how I function and how I can support my health for the years ahead.

There is still work to do, and I know this is a process.

Health and wellness aren’t usually about finding one magic pill or making one change that suddenly fixes everything. They involve layers of care, understanding, consistency and sometimes a willingness to change direction as we learn more.

For me, that means looking at my food, movement, sleep, recovery, stress and the professional support I need. It means continuing to learn about my health without assuming that everything I read applies to me. And it means being kinder to myself while I work through the things I can change.

I’m learning that I can take responsibility for my health without carrying the whole burden alone. I can ask questions, seek professional guidance, explore appropriate options and still trust that my concerns deserve to be heard.

If you’ve been feeling unlike yourself, if something has changed and you can’t quite explain it, or if you’ve left a health appointment with questions still sitting in your mind, I hope this is your reminder that you don’t have to dismiss those questions.

You don’t need to be frightened by every change, and you don’t need to assume the worst. But you can be curious. You can seek reliable information. You can ask for help. And you can take small, considered steps towards understanding your health.

A different question to carry forward

I’ve spent a long time asking myself why I can’t seem to get back to the person I used to be.

I’m beginning to realise that perhaps the question isn’t how I get back to who I was, but how I learn to care for the person I am now.

Because sometimes the most important change begins not with an answer, but with a better question.

If something in your health or wellbeing has been leaving you with questions, I hope you feel encouraged to approach those questions with curiosity and compassion. You deserve to feel heard, supported and involved in decisions about your own health.

A question to take with you

What is one question about your health that you’ve been wanting to ask? You might like to write it down before your next appointment, share it with someone you trust, or simply give yourself a little space to explore it. If this article has resonated with you, I’d love to hear your reflections. Feel free to leave a comment or send me a message.

A note from me to you

As I continue learning to ask better questions about my own health, I’m reminding myself that this journey doesn’t need to be approached with fear or self-criticism. We can meet ourselves with honesty, curiosity and a little more kindness, one step at a time.

Move with intention. Nourish your body. Breathe deeply. Align with your true self.

From my heart to yours,

Nad’s 💚

Resources and further reading

These resources have informed my learning and provide wider context for this article. The books are part of my personal learning; the health information links offer general guidance and do not replace individual medical advice.

Understanding laboratory results

·       MedlinePlus: How to Understand Your Lab Results  Explains reference ranges and why results need to be considered alongside health history and other information.

Kidney health and supplements

·       Health New Zealand: Looking after your kidneys  Includes guidance on discussing medicines and supplements with a healthcare professional.

·       Kidney Health New Zealand: Nutrition and chronic kidney disease  Information on nutrition and checking supplements with your healthcare team.

Books I’m exploring

·       Dr Libby: Women’s Wellness Wisdom  A book that has prompted me to ask more questions about women’s health and my own experience.

·       Jessie Inchauspé / Glucose Goddess: Glucose Revolution  One of the books I’m using to learn more about glucose and blood sugar. I’m treating it as a learning resource, not a substitute for individual clinical advice.

Medical disclaimer

This article shares my personal experience and is intended for reflection and general education. It is not a diagnosis or a substitute for individual medical advice. Blood results and health concerns should be interpreted by an appropriately qualified healthcare professional in the context of your medical history and circumstances.